


Your Name Tattooed In An (Arrow) Heart

by warmcuppatea



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Baker Liam, Boys Kissing, Librarian Harry, M/M, Soulmates AU, and it gets colored when, and louis bc louis, first chapter is really fluffy., flatmate niall, hobo zayn, porn subscriber niall, where you have a tattoo on your wrist, will add more tags later, you fall in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-03-12 19:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3353192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmcuppatea/pseuds/warmcuppatea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry always believed in love.</p>
<p>He was raised to believe in it, raised to love just the idea of love. He lived in a house full of girls - so no one could blame him for daydreaming about the day, the hour, the moment that his heart would be filled, that he would fall helplessly in love with The One.</p>
<p>(or, the story in which everyone has a soulmate, and a heart on their wrist signifies if they've met them. and harry's dying for a soulmate when all his friends already have their own.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

Harry always believed in love.

 

He was raised to believe in it, raised to love just the idea of love. He lived in a house full of girls - so no one could blame him for daydreaming about the day, the hour, the _moment_ that his heart would be filled, that he would fall helplessly in love with _The One_.

 

Harry was a bit optimistic, though, was the problem. He was accepting of everyone and just wanted to make everyone feel loved. So every day at work, he’d quietly do his job, but he’d just watch, waiting to see if that would be the day he met his soulmate. Maybe the mum with three children who walked in? The babies didn’t fool Harry - the heart on her wrist was only an outline. (And besides, babies weren’t a deal breaker for him, he _loved_ kids.) Or the 800 year old man coming to buy a newspaper. _Oh. His heart was full. Well, good thing because he was grumpy._ Working at the local library, Harry met lots of people every single day and that’s why he was sure that he would meet his soulmate here.

 

And every day it was the same. At five o’clock, he’d sigh as he pulled his coat on and tossed his scarf around his neck, realizing that this was another day soulmateless, another day eating takeaway by himself, and another night sleeping alone.

 

And just those ideas themself made Harry just a _tad_ grumpy, nothing too major, as he walked home from work. See, he had a little routine. He would clean up and lock up the library, say hello to his homeless friend, Zayn, and stop at his mate, Liam’s coffee shop. And by the time he got home, he was happy again, and the pressing issue of finding his soulmate would then be put on hold until the next day.

 

“Hey Zayn!” Harry smiled as he came down the road, nearing the dark haired boy’s bench. He made himself at home and sat on the open end of it.

 

“‘Ello.” Zayn said, just like every single day. Harry wasn’t even sure if Zayn _remembered_ his name, but Harry figured he was still being nice and helping him through a rough patch. Zayn looked at Harry, before lighting a fag and letting it hang from his lips.

 

Harry couldn’t help but laugh a bit. Because Zayn was so… _Zayn_. He was so mysterious and attractive that even as a hobo, he had everything he wanted because everyone gave him money and food and such. “I see you got your cigarettes.” He said.

 

Zayn nodded, finally taking a drag. “Yes, bless the lord.” He said sarcastically, exhaling the smoke in rings. “How were the books- I mean, your friends?” He said with a smirk.

Harry just rolled his eyes and smiled. “They’re _wonderful_. You should come visit.” He said, looking at him. “Really.” He nudged Zayn with an elbow.

 

Zayn shrugged noncommittally. He usually dropped by the library once or twice a week to appease Harry, as if Harry wouldn’t keep bringing him food if he didn’t give a courtesy drop by. When in truth, Harry was given food for Zayn every day by Zayn’s very own secret admirer. Not that Harry would spill that secret, though. He was a good person.

 

They chatted for a bit, before Harry realized he had to go to catch Liam. “Well, you know when I work…” He smiled and gave Zayn a hug that wasn’t exactly reciprocated, but the smile on Zayn’s lips was enough for him. “Have a nice night. My flat is always open if it gets cold.” He said and walked off with a wave.

 

Harry shoved his hands in his pockets, because it was October and London was already chilly as hell. Even though he knew he wouldn’t, he hoped that maybe Zayn would take his offer one day, and come stay with him instead of freezing. Lost in his thoughts, he was in the warm cafe before he even realized it. “Liam, do you realize how cold it is outside?” He asked, with a frown.

 

“Jesus, _no_ , I wish I knew how cold it was!” He said. His cheeks were red, and his hair was a mess from the heat of the ovens he worked by all day. Harry frowned and kissed his cheek. “Poor Zayn’s gonna freeze out there… I offered him to my flat, but I’m pretty sure he won’t come, as usual.” He wrinkled his nose.

 

That got Liam’s attention. “You mean, Zayn is staying outside again tonight?” He asked, frowning deeply. “That’s no good. Let me package up some of the extra soup for him. You’ll bring it over, right? While it’s hot?” He asked, giving Harry his strongest puppy dog eyes.

 

Because.. That was the thing. Is that Liam and Zayn were soulmates. Their wrists both proved the fact. It was simple, really. Back when Zayn lived with his parents, he would come into Liam’s bakery daily and use his fancy credit card to buy enough product to stay in and flirt with Liam for hours. And one day, Liam looked right in Zayns deep brown eyes and next thing he knew, he had a _red heart_ on his wrist instead of just an outline. And Zayn did too.

 

But then, Zayn’s father found out about them. And not that he didn’t want Zayn happy, but he didn’t want Zayn to be gay and there was a huge fight and Zayn moved out. Liam had told him to stay with him, that he could have a job at the bakery, but that had gotten _them_ in an argument because Zayn felt like Liam only did it because they were soulmates, not because he wanted to move in with Zayn. And they haven’t spoken since, which was weeks ago. So, Harry, who had also been a long customer and friend of Liam’s, was trying to help because he just really wanted a Ziam wedding. Soon.

 

“I suppose..” Harry said and licked his lips. “But maybe you should come along? I’m sure Zayn must miss you even if he’s too manly to say it. _You’re his soulmate, Liam!_ ” Harry gave him a serious look. “I mean, really. Maybe he’s waiting for you to make a move.”

 

Liam sighed, rubbing his face. “Maybe I should go.”

 

Harry nodded, smiling. “Besides, you’re all sweaty and you _know_ Zayn likes that because it-”

 

Liam wrinkled his nose and covered Harry’s mouth. “Ew, H, _please_ don’t talk about that time you walked in on us! That was an accident!”

 

Harry laughed and shook his head. “Okay, fine. But seriously. You need to go tonight.” He said as he took out his wallet to pay for his usual - a fruit cup (for breakfast the next morning), hot tea for the walk home, and a pastry for dessert. And Liam would _always_ throw in a muffin for Zayn.

 

After a bit more convincing, Harry was out the door and so was Liam. Both headed in opposite directions though, because Liam was planning on bringing Zayn to his flat and Harry didn’t need to be around for that. Plus, Harry had moved into a new flat just a week ago and was worried he’d get lost on the way home if it got much darker, so.

 

“Go get some, Liam!” He called, only to hear a _fuck you, Styles_! laughed out in reply.

 

**< ><><><>**

“Harry!” Niall called as the door to their flat opened, before he even saw who was coming in. “Hurry, I tried to make dinner and it burnt and I’m _starving_!” Niall rounded the corner from the kitchen, showing him some chicken on a sheet pan that was black and smelled like charcoal.

 

Harry winced a bit, hanging his coat and scarf up on the hanger before assessing the situation. “Wow, um. Nialler, what happened?” He asked as he pulled his hair up into a bun. If he was going to be cooking, he’d have to pull it back. No question.

 

Niall launched into this whole story about how _hungry_ he was and how he _couldn’t wait_  and he couldn’t order in because his phone was _so far away_ and Harry really didn’t want to hear more, so “Well, I’ll make a stir fry. But I always botch the rice, so can you run down the road and order us some from the Chinese place?” He asked as he toed his shoes off and left them by the door.

 

Niall nodded and threw a _thanks, H!_ over his shoulder as he ran off. Harry smiled and washed his hands as he began to cook. Him and Niall had dormed together in uni, and this semester they had agreed to live off campus and Harry couldn’t be happier. And he loved their flat, loved cooking every ni-

 

His thoughts were interrupted with an angry pounding on the flat door. He raised a brow and set his knife down from the chopping he was doing, and opened the door. “Hello?” He asked.

 

He was met with a boy - _an attractive boy_ \- who didn’t look very happy. His arms were crossed over his chest and he held a big stack of papers in one hand. “Are you Niall Horan?” He wrinkled his nose and looked up at Harry, blue eyes meeting his green ones. “ _Because let me tell you-_ ”

 

“Actually,” Harry frowned, “Niall is my room mate. My name is Harry.” He said. “Why are you so upset?” He was genuinely concerned that this person would die of a heart attack right in front of him.

 

“I’m _upset_ because your flatmate had his mail forwarded to my address, which would be _fine_ until his porn subscription came when my mum was flat-sitting for me this weekend!” He said and waved a magazine in Harry’s face, that was covered in cocks and sex toys.

 

Harry inhaled sharply, because _oh_. “I’m sorry about that.. What’s your-”

 

“Louis.” He responded, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Louis Tomlinson.”

 

“I’m sorry about that, Louis Tomlinson. Niall’s not the brightest sometimes…” He explained. “See, our address is 323, Unit A, and,” He examined the mail that Louis had brought. “Niall accidentally put 323 Unit B.” He said and showed him.

 

Louis’ expression softened. “Oh.” He said. “Yeah. I live right across the way.” He gestured to the door across the hall.

 

Harry nodded, and he wasn’t sure why he was smiling so much. “Of course. Well. Niall’s out picking up some take away rice for our stir fry, maybe you could join us? Britain’s Greatest Baker is on tonight..” He said, smiling, and wondering when he got so social. Harry loved people, but he wasn’t known for inviting them over to his flat. That was more something Niall did. But he let the thought slide and smiled.

 

“I would love to, really.” Louis said and it seemed half genuine. “But my mum is in town for a few more days so we’re having a roast at mine.” He said, before licking his lips. “Maybe we can get together next week, though?” He suggested.

 

Harry felt his heart beat a little quicker and he nodded. “Yeah! I-just let me know!” he said excitedly. “Have a nice night with your mum.” He said, smiling and letting his dimples show.

 

Louis licked his lips and smiled. “You as well, Harry.” He paused, “I mean - with your flatmate, not your mum. Fuck it. Have a nice night.” He said and left, leaving Niall’s mail in Harry’s hands.

 

Harry closed the door and let out a happy sigh, setting his mail on the table. He went back to cooking and chopping.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

“Where are the sex books? You know, porn and graphic nudity, something a bit rougher and a lot more gay than 50 Shades? With lots of pictures and details?”

 

Harry didn’t blink, didn’t even look up from the computer. Not because _of course, someone was trying to fluster the cute little nerd sitting behind the library resource desk_ , but because he was busy trying to submit a ticket about why 3/7 of their computers weren’t working. This was a truly pressing matter, so Harry just responded. “Past Young Adult Fiction on the back left, right in between the sports magazines and sex help books.”

 

The person asking scoffed a bit. “How did you even remember where that was? And wow, I really thought you’d pay a bit of special attention to your new neighbor. Wow, Harry. I am truly _wounded_.”

 

Harry raised a brow and was surprised to see _lovely, hot, new neighbor_ , Louis standing at the other side of his desk. He realized how sarcastic Louis must be before responding in a similar manner. “Oh, do I know you? I’m sorry, I have more pressing life issues to attend to than my porn subscription receiving neighbor.”

 

Louis let out a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re a tosser.” He said before leaning on the counter. He took in Harry’s appearance - glasses perched on his nose, a professional looking sweater around his torso, and his rockstar curls pulled back into a tight bun. He licked his lips a bit. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

 

Harry finally decided that maybe he could submit the help ticket later, and pushed back from the computer he was working on. “Maybe because you only met me the other night, and you were too busy having a proper roast with your mum to get to know me? You didn’t even invite me over.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes playfully and smiled. “Yes, it was all my fault.” He said, and looked at Harry. “And we even had another roast last night before she left. And I didn’t invite you _again_.”

 

Harry furrowed his brows. “Rude.” He said with mock hurt. But really, Harry _did_ love a good roast.

 

“That’s me.” Louis said with a sad sigh that was betrayed with the smile on his face. “But.. We do have some left-overs.. Maybe, if you’re nice to me, you can come over and help me eat them while I catch up on Master Chef?” He asked, almost hopeful, but not showing it. Louis was _too cool_ for that.

 

“Well… I mean,” Harry started with a smile. “I get off around five..” He said and looked at him. “And home by six thirty. Will that work?”

 

Louis nodded. “Sure. It’s a date.” He said and smiled. “I’ll _even_ stay around and walk you home.” He teased.

 

And Harry thought he was teasing, but as he locked the library doors at five o’clock sharp, it didn’t even feel weird to see Louis standing a few feet away, leaning against the building.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

It’d been three weeks since Louis and Harry met, and somehow they’d become inseparable. Louis would visit Harry at the library, and walk him home, and they would watch Britain’s Great Baker together and Harry was very pleased that he had met the boy because they were _best friends_. And when he told Niall that, Niall laughed.

 

Harry furrowed his brows. “Why are you laughing? We _are_ best friends.”

 

“No, H. You _love_ him and you’ve convinced yourself that you’re just friends because he hasn’t given any hint of reciprocation”

 

And well, that hurt. Because Niall was never very serious like that and he was surely right, but _still,_ he didn’t have to say it. So what? Harry had a _minor_ crush on Louis, like really tiny. And it was okay that Louis didn’t like him back. It was okay that Harry would pay for tea on the walk home but Louis would never pay for Harry’s and it was okay that Louis came to his and Niall’s flat but almost never asked Harry to _his_ flat. Really. It was _okay_.

 

Because the thing is, not like Harry thought Louis was _The One_ , but he thought he could love him. He thought that he could get used to the walks home and the constant smell of manly from Louis’ body wash and Louis never complained about Harry’s cooking and it’s not like Harry would bet money on Louis being _his_ soulmate, but he thought it was a strong possibility.

 

Looking down at his wrist, Harry sighed. A small, empty heart, just waiting to be filled. Harry had always waited, prayed for the day it would be filled - but he just thought it would have happened already. Because Harry was such a romantic. He loved _love_ , and the idea of love at first sight _so_ much, and well, it almost hurt that Louis wasn’t his soulmate, wasn’t the person who filled his heart right when he opened his door that very first day.

 

Besides, it felt like everyone besides him was at least making _some_ progress. Zayn had begrudgingly moved in with Liam just a week or so ago, after Liam insisted that he would _sleep outside with Zayn until he did_. And well, once Liam got horridly sick from the cold, Zayn was convinced. When he was drunk one day he told Harry that seeing Liam sick like that made his heart _thump_ in the worst way possible and that Zayn knew he had to put his pride aside and move in before Liam hurt himself even more.

 

And that conversation is what spurred Harry’s soulmate depression. Because he was happy that Liam and Zayn were happy, but now even Niall was with this boy that he thought was the one and the boy thought _Niall_ was the one and they were just waiting for the moment. And Harry was starting to think that maybe he’d never find someone to love him and his soul.

 

And Louis was always there. Said he felt the same way and that _it sucks, but I’m sure you’ll find someone who makes you happy eventually_. And that made Harry feel better, because Louis understood. Louis was there for hugs and cuddles and walks and cuppas and all the things Harry wanted, so maybe he didn’t need a soulmate. Maybe even if Louis wasn’t his soulmate by textbook definition, he _was_ his best friend, and that was enough.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

Harry kept on with this theory, of not needing a soulmate for a few months. He tried to stay happy but he really was a bit depressed that he still hadn’t met someone. But at least he had Louis, and Louis _understood._ Louis knew exactly what Harry was talking about. Louis knew what it was like to be unloved and alone and he knew what that empty heart on your wrist made you feel like.

 

At least, Harry had _thought_ Louis knew. Until Harry actually got a look at Louis’ wrist, and saw his heart, filled in with the faintest, pink color.

 

 


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ♥
> 
> i'm sorry this chapter is so long-awaited, but i hope it is everything you wonderful people hoped for! there will be one installment left in the story after this, and if there is enough positive response i will write a few one-shots in this verse. 
> 
> thank you to anyone who took time to read this, or has eagerly waited 100+ days to find out about harry's heart outline. i adore you and your faithfulness. 
> 
> \- m ♥♥♥

Louis’ laugh was something that made Harry lose his breath.

 

It was so pretty and high and raw and _real_ and Harry adored it. Adored the way it just choked out of his throat and how he couldn’t even contain himself. Like, when Louis thought something was funny, it was _funny_.  Louis wasn’t fake, was the thing. He was real and he didn’t give pity laughs or a small smile as if he cared. He told you straight up if you weren’t funny, and Harry loved that about him.

 

But Louis did think _Harry_ was funny. And that meant the world.

 

He felt dizzy and realized that _wow,_ Louis had taken his breath away yet again. Louis was laughing, hot breath against Harry’s bare shoulder and Harry loved the feeling. They’d been watching the telly and Harry had gotten them beers, and when he came back, Louis pulled Harry right down on his lap, and wrapped warm, strong, arms around him.

 

And who was Harry to laugh it off and move, when Louis was so confident, so strong? It didn’t matter that Louis was three inches shorter, it worked, and they sat like this all the time. Harry told himself that it was just because he couldn’t say no to Louis. And it was moments like these where Harry could be happy, could forget about the pink heart on Louis’ wrist and just lay back against his chest and close his eyes.

 

And Harry really, truly still thought they were _best friends_. Louis had even told him while they were shopping the week before that if they had both been girls, that Louis would’ve bought him a best friends phone case. And even though Harry didn’t mind being a boy and still wanting a matching case, the thought was enough. And then Louis wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist and he smiled, and Louis did too.

 

And somewhere between the hugs and the secrets shared, Harry had fallen for Louis. And he hated himself for that.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

“‘Azza?” Louis asked, rubbing his eyes as he walked into Harry’s flat.

 

It was a brisk, cold Saturday morning, and Harry would be questioning why anyone else walked into his flat unannounced, letting the cold air in, without even knocking first. But this was Louis. Harry couldn’t even find it in him to mind. He stood from where he was curled up on the couch, fully engulfed in a morning talk show, and frowned. “Louis? What’s wrong?” He asked.

 

Louis shrugged noncommittally, and it was so out of character that Harry was a bit worried. “Cmon, love. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll make us a spot of tea, yeah? I even nicked a few scones from Liam yesterday.” He said and watched as Louis huffed and nodded silently, before making himself cosy and comfortable underneath Harry’s blanket.

 

Harry steeped the tea and warmed the scones and it wasn’t until they were halfway through a rerun of Full House, crumbs covering the blanket they were both under until Louis finally said it.

 

“My best friend. She- She died a year ago.”

 

And Harry looked up and saw tears running down his face and he didn’t know what to say, because he felt so much for Louis and this wasn’t fair and no one like Louis should have to go through something like that. And Harry wasn’t sure what to do, what to say, and before he could figure it out, Louis was leaning against him.

 

“And I miss her horribly, is all. I miss her loads and I want her to come back.” Louis’ voice cracked at the end and that’s when the tears really started. “And I walked all the way here with no coat, just like I used to walk her to work every morning and I’d always freeze my arse off, but she never remembered her own coat!”

 

Louis almost sounded angry, and it made Harry flinch, but only hug him tighter. He was shaking in Harry’s arms, and he couldn’t help but wonder why something so awful could happen to someone so perfect and beautiful.

 

“I suppose that’s just how the world works, Harold.” He sniffled, and that’s when Harry realized he’d been speaking his thoughts but he couldn’t find it in him to blush. “The world fucking sucks sometimes and I hope you never have to realize that for yourself.” Louis whispered, and after that they were quiet for awhile.

 

And Harry realized that maybe that was the kindest thing someone could say to him, maybe it was worth more than the red heart he was expecting. But the fact that Louis deeply and honestly hoped Harry wouldn’t feel pain like he was feeling made Harry feel warm in a way he’d never known before and then he really felt worse that Louis was experiencing the pain. That he was hurting and Harry was a bit hurt when he realized that warm duvets, tea, and cuddles wouldn’t do the trick this time.

 

Harry hugged Louis and he felt tears pricking in his own eyes. He hugged him tightly before finally whispering, “If I could, I’d make sure the world never hurt you again.”

 

**< ><><><>**

 

“Louis!” Harry called excitedly, as he heard the door to his flat click shut. “Louis, I just received the most wonderful news!”

 

Louis frowned softly as he hung his coat on the hanger. “And what is that, Hazza?”

 

Because, yeah, Louis had been a bit off lately. Harry couldn’t put his finger on exactly what was different, but he supposed it didn’t much matter. He wanted to be there for Louis even when he was a bit more… Quiet than usual. Harry tried not to take offense to it, because Louis wasn’t exactly a quiet person, so it helped when Liam told him that Louis had been acting the same way towards him, as well.

 

“Well,” Harry smiled and came over from where he had been in his bedroom. “Gemma is going away with her husband for the weekend, and they’ve asked me to babysit Harper for them!” He said, winding their arms together and looking down at Louis, excitement in his eyes.

 

Louis gave a small smile. “Wow, Harry, that’s wonderful.” He said and ruffled his curls. “I’m so happy for you.”

 

“Yes, thank you Boo.” He smiled, and looked up at him, very pleased with the positive reaction he’d received. “And I was thinking we could take her to the park, and to get ice cream. Plus we could take her to the Children’s Museum-”

 

“Actually, I’m awfully busy with work.” He said, biting his lip softly. “I- I don’t know exactly how much I’ll be popping by this week.”

 

Harry nodded slowly, untangling their arms. “Of course. But we’re still on for Friday, right? It’s the finale of Britain’s Greatest Baker. You can’t miss that!” He said cheerfully.

 

Louis licked his lips before giving a soft smile. “Of course not. Can’t wait to see my favorite beat your arse.” He said and tossed Harry a wink.

 

And just like that, Louis was acting normally again, toeing off his shoes and skipping off into the kitchen. “Care for a spot of tea?”

 

**< ><><><>**

 

Harry sighed, locking up the library doors Thursday night. Seeing Louis there had become a regular thing, and Harry had missed seeing him there, waiting for him. But Harry understood, work was a big commitment. But it was just then that it hit Harry - what kind of job did Louis have? Where did he work? All these things that Louis knew about him, he didn’t know about Louis and that made him frown a bit as he bundled up his coat and began his walk.

 

He passed by Zayn’s old bench, and actually smiled when he saw a different homeless man sitting on it, passed out and smelling like booze and cigarettes. The homeless lifestyle wasn’t meant for someone like Zayn, and as much as he’d been against it initially, he’d taken pride in becoming a decoration in Liam’s flat. Because Zayn had a win-win going, because he was still acting as if he was homeless, doing nothing all day besides Twitter and smoking, but he had electricity and food and Liam came home to him every single night. And the fact that Zayn was happy made Harry happy. He liked when things worked out for people, especially when those two people were soulmates.

 

Liam’s cafe was closed for the night, which was strange, until he realized that it was the Thursday before Zayn’s birthday, and that Liam was taking him away for the weekend and was probably at home packing. His sister, Ruth, would be running the cafe in his absence and she wasn’t to arrive until tomorrow morning, so it made sense that Liam had closed early.

 

Passing the cafe, he took a right hand turn, and within minutes he was standing in his sister’s beautiful garden. Gemma’s house made him sigh with happiness, because it was so.. Gemma. Everything was so beautiful and lovely and Harry wanted somewhere just as lovely once he upgraded to a nicer flat. He admired some of the wintery decorations for a minute before knocking on the door, pausing a moment, and letting himself in.

 

“Gem?” He called, but was quickly attacked at knee-level.

 

“Uncazza!” He heard the happy squeal. Harry couldn’t help but laugh, dimples showing as he picked up the little firecracker by his feet.

 

“My, who is this?” He asked, kissing all over the little girl’s cheeks. “Might it be my favorite niece in the world?” He asked before blowing a raspberry on her cheek. “Harper, you are so lovely.” He praised her happily. “But, where are your mummy and daddy?” He said and poked her nose. The girl had a terrible habit of running off, and Harry knew it.

 

Just as he began to climb the stairs, Gemma peeked over the banister. “Harry! I didn’t even hear you come in!” She smiled and fixed her earring on her ear before running down to hug him. “Thank you for catching my little monster, she was supposed to be napping!” Gemma gave Harper a fake, stern look.

 

It only made both her and Harry giggle. “It’s okay. She’s such a good girl.” He smiled, “Where’s Dan?” He asked.   
  


Gemma smiled. “At the office still. I’m picking him up there, he had some last minute things to attend to. Thanks for coming to pick up Harper, though. How are you? And Louis?” She smiled.

 

“Well. I’m wonderful. And Louis is.. Still not my soulmate.” He said decidedly. “But that’s okay, really. I don’t exactly need a soulmate. But he’s been quiet lately, and I’m a bit concerned.”

 

“Heart.” Harper held her little wrist up next to Harry’s. Her tiny heart wasn’t filled either, and for some reason her heart seemed so much more hopeful than Harry’s empty heart.

 

Harry kissed her little wrist, which made her giggle. Gemma frowned though. “Hey, don’t say it like that. Maybe Louis’ not the one. But the right person will come along eventually. I promise, H. You’re completely daft if you think you’re unlovable, or summat.” She said with a serious nod. “And who knows what Louis is going through? It might have nothing to do with you, so stop worrying.”

 

Harry shrugged a bit. ‘I suppose you’re right.”

 

Gemma smiled, handing Harry a bag with Harper’s things. “I’m your older sister. I’m always right.”

 

**< ><><><>**

 

Harry was surprised when he opened the door to his flat and saw Niall waiting right by the door for him. He flinched a bit, surprised. Harper had fallen asleep on their walk home, not to his surprise, so he was carrying her, plus her bags and his satchel. Niall quickly grabbed the bags and set them down.

 

“Hey, Harry? We need to talk.”

 

And Harry frowned deeply, because Niall was never serious like he sounded right now. “Hello to you, too…” He frowned but nodded, toeing off his shoes and setting the girl down on the couch, covering her with the duver they had thrown over the back. “What’s the problem, then, Nialler?” He asked as he took his peacoat off.

 

Niall looked conflicted, as if debating on what to say, before he finally blurted it out. “Josh and I are soulmates!” He said, and a smile broke out on his face. “And he’s asked me to move in with him, and he’s said he wants to _marry_ me, Harry! _Me_! I’ve finally found someone who will cook for me and love me and be mine!”

 

And Harry froze a bit, trying to figure out how to not be jealous when that was the only emotion running through him. He had to be happy for Niall, because everyone knew this was coming, but he had just hoped that maybe he would’ve made more progress by the time it happened. He gave a soft smile. “Wow, Ni. I’m happy for you. And wow. Moving in?”

 

Niall didn’t seem to notice Harry’s unpleasant reaction. “Yeah! Next month, he says. I reckon it’ll be perfect.” He beamed. “And, I’m actually heading over there right now to celebrate with him.” He said as he grabbed his own coat.

 

Harry could barely mutter a goodbye before Niall had ran off. He sighed and sat himself down on the couch, turning the telly on and cuddling the toddler to his chest. At least Harper loved him.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

Harry loved babies. Especially Harper.

 

Harry didn’t want to take his eyes off Harper for a second when he was with her, because he was just so paranoid and in love with her that he wanted to protect her. Louis said that was normal. He said that Harry would make a good dad someday because of that.

 

(Harry tried not to think about how hard of a _thump_ his heart made when Louis said that, because just having Harper around made him have a bit of baby fever, and then he remembered that he couldn’t have a baby, and then he remembered that he didn’t even have a soulmate and that made him sad.)

 

So when Louis came over to Harry’s on Friday to meet Harper and watch their usual telly shows, he offered to do all the cooking while Harry and Harper watched cartoons. Harry smiled and held her on his lap, playing with her whispy, light brown hair. Knowing his and Gemma’s genes, she’d have full on curls soon, but for now it was just barely curling and light as a feather.

 

Harper bounced happily in Harry’s lap when Sophia the First came on. “Soph! Soph! Uncazza, Soph!”

 

Harry nodded and smiled, kissing her head, “Yeah, Sophia!” He said and happily sang along to the beginning song.

 

Harper laughed in delight when the song was over, and Harry was about to tickle her or something, when he heard Louis talking. He was about to turn around and ask Louis to repeat himself when he realized that Louis wasn’t talking to him.

 

(Now, Harry was _not_ eavesdropping. Really. He wasn’t. It was his flat, and Louis was just a room away in the kitchen and just because Harry could hear what Louis was saying _did not_ mean he was eavesdropping.)

 

Harry set Harper down on the cushion next to him and leaned back into the couch a bit. He closed his eyes for a second, concentrating.

 

“Yeah, I don’t think he knows yet.” Louis grumbled quietly. “I mean, c’mon, Zayn. Harry wouldn’t be going for this whole best friends deal if he actually knew… He’d hate me.”

 

_Best friend deal_? Harry didn’t like where this was going. He tried not to stiffen or anything, and he heard the sizzling of Louis adding something to the frying pan. After a few seconds, Louis laughed a bit. But Harry could tell it was his snarky laugh, not his normal one.

 

“That’s not just a bombshell you drop on someone like Harry, Zayn… I mean, He’d never speak to me again if he knew about Hannah.. If he knew that all this was about her.. He’d never forgive me.” He sighed, but was quiet only for a second. “Shit. This is burning. Harry?” He called, looking over to the couch. “Call me back later, Zayn? Yeah, have fun with Liam” He said goodbye quickly. “H, help! The food is on fire!”

 

And Harry jumped up to help Louis, pushing the conversation from his mind as fast as he could.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

Even though Harry knew that ( _at times_ ) he could be a clingy person, he prided himself on not being too clingy. He liked letting people have their space and just being there when he was needed. And he figured that if he respected someone’s privacy, that they would ultimately trust him more than they would if he nagged. So after hearing Louis’ phone conversation, Harry chose to pretend like it never happened. Since Louis and him were best friends, he figured he would tell Harry himself eventually.

 

But after three weeks, Harry began to lose hope.

 

Louis had been around a lot while Harry had Harper, but once he (reluctantly) gave her back to Dan and Gemma, Louis stopped coming over as much. He kept saying he had work, but that was all. So Harry went back to doing what he did when he used to eat lunch alone in high school - he read books.

 

Harry loved reading, and that was why it was fitting that he was a librarian. He got immersed in books easily and found that he could read a book and write good reviews of them. So that’s what he spent all his time doing. Since he walked home alone again now, he would just carry as many books as he could and sit down at home with a steaming cuppa, and read. And after he was done, he would pull up a word document and type fervently, before posting it onto his blog, and before long, it consumed him.

 

He started off with just one or two followers. But apparently _nerdy-but-hot-librarian-who-is-soulmateless_ is a lot of people’s aesthetic, and before he knew it he had a few hundred subscribers and he was making his reviews into videos and suddenly he didn’t even have time to think about missing Louis.

 

And what started off as innocent plans to reschedule with Louis turned into 3 missed phone calls. And that led to Harry forgetting about their Next Great Baker nights, and slowly… He didn’t even realize that Louis was out of his life until he was long gone.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

After not running into Louis for awhile, Harry decided to go out of his way to find him. Louis hadn’t been answering his calls or texts, and he felt awful. But, with a popular blog and people who were actually interested in his love life, he didn’t have too much time to fix that. So Harry decided to wait for Louis inside of Liam’s cafe. Since it was a Thursday, he would be by to pick up lunch for himself and some co workers soon.

 

(Harry had found out that Louis is a teacher at the local elementary school - _swoon_ \- where he teaches the young children about theater and the arts. And when Harry was told this it made him smile so much his face hurt, because imagining Louis explaining Shakespeare to a bunch of 7 year olds was just a precious thought.)

 

So, while Harry was waiting for Louis - who wasn’t due in the cafe for another hour - he decided to film a new vlog. He hadn’t done one in the last week, he had been so consumed with work and cleaning up his blog that he hadn’t had time to read a new book to review. But Harry had just re-read _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , since the new sequel was due in the library any day now. So he decided to do a vlog on that. He opened his computer and began recording.

 

He smiled a bit, waving. “Hello everyone… I’m Harry, and this is my 25th vlog being soulmateless. Today I will be reviewing Harper Lee’s _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , before the new book comes out. But before that, I do have a little bit of my life i’d like to rant over. Is that okay? If not, you can fast-forward to where I talk about the book.” He said with the cutest smile, pulling his hair up into a bun.

 

“Here’s the issue - I normally don’t like to think of myself as a jealous person. I suppose deep inside that maybe I am, but I really, genuinely try to be happy for people. But, to be honest, i’ve had a rough time with it lately. Because not only has Niall finally had his heart filled, but he’s getting married. And he moved out of my flat last week. And Liam and Zayn are so happy. And I just - do you guys think I deserve that? Or am I such a bad person that this is my fate?” He sighed and tucked a stray curl behind his ear. “Well. Who knows.” He said and shrugged. “Oh, this is also the part of the video in which I answer comments that I think are relavant, so.”

 

Harry picked up a few index cards, and began reading off the questions, which ranged from if he dog-eared or used a book mark, what his favorite tea was, how he met Liam and Niall, and finally one about Louis. (See, the thing is though that Harry never wanted anything bad to come to Louis. And his fans were, well, a little hard core. So he had began calling Louis ‘dove’ from the beginning, just as an alias, so no one would go bother him. He didn’t ever want people to pressure Louis into anything.) “Alright, my last question says: ‘Harry, how have things been with Dove lately? You haven’t spoken much of him?’ And well…”

 

Harry rubbed his face for a second. “I guess that’s rather hard to explain, because Dove and I used to be best friends but I think he lost interest in me.” He said, trying to explain. Harry always got so into his vlogs, he kind of forgot the world around him. “And eventually both of us were cancelling on each other and our Britain’s Greatest Baker nights got cancelled so much neither of us cared anymore, and… I don’t know what happened to Dove. Sometimes I wonder if he loved me at all, even like a friend. I just miss him though.” He sighed and shrugged, looking back up at the screen.

 

In the background, behind him, Harry saw it clearly.

 

His blue eyed dove was standing right there, watching him. A permanent scowl was on his face. Louis probably had no idea what was going on, since Louis didn’t know about his vlog. Harry turned around and stood, hurrying to him. “Louis, i’ve been -”

 

“Harry, stop.” Louis cut him off, arms crossed over his chest.

 

Harry pulled his outreached arms back and bit his lip harshly. “Louis..” He said, tucking his arms behind his back.

 

“Just stop, H!” he said loudly, and now people were staring. “Look. I just - I don’t think we can be best friends anymore. I’m done. Please, just - leave me alone.” he said sadly, picked up his coffee and left.

 

And maybe, just maybe fate hates Harry. Because he knew his life was ironic and filled with puns but it was never as bad as this: Right when Louis uttered those words, that their friendship was over, looking in his eyes - Harry’s heart was filled. His wrist burned and he knew for sure that Louis was his soulmate. And the whole incident was caught on camera for his vlog - which would be perfect.

 

Except for the fact that Louis didn’t wait to be best friends anymore.

 

And now Harry wasn’t a lonely librarian who didn’t have a soulmate and was in love with a boy - Harry was a lonely librarian who was in love with his soulmate who didn’t love him back.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback, kudos, comments, questions, rants are always appreciated!
> 
> would you guys like to see more in this verse? such as, the last chapter and a few one shots? if there is feedback, i will be writing more for y'all! ♥
> 
> also please be on the lookout in the next few days for my new ziam ficlet called deux! i'm very excited about it and it will have side!larry so keep your eyes peeled.
> 
> love you all to infinity and back 
> 
> -m ♥♥♥


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone!!!!
> 
> welcome to the last installment of 'your name tattooed in an (arrow) heart'! 
> 
> this work is so near and dear to me, thank you to each and every one of you who has left kudos or even glanced at this work! Without you, I would have never finished this. 
> 
> Also, thank you to my beautiful best friend, secretkeytomymind! Thank you for all your help on this chapter and for basically being the best, best friend ever! i love you!
> 
> -m ♥ ♥ ♥

A perfect, red-filled heart, located at the junction of his hand to his wrist. It was outlined in back and Harry found himself staring at it a lot. Your mark was supposed to be something you were proud of and something you showed off, but to Harry it oozed shame.

 

Months later, all he can think of is his vlog, where viewers saw the real, raw moment when Harry met his soulmate and at that very moment, his soulmate decided that he wasn’t the one. The soulmateless librarian with a blog was no longer soulmateless. If anything, it made him more popular. People all over the world had finally seen who ‘Dove’ was, and they were absolutely obsessed with Harry’s pathetic life.

 

Liam and Zayn tried to stay neutral on the situation, being that they were friends with Louis now also. According to Zayn (who was more or less on Harry’s side), Liam had gotten a really good punch in before he forgave Louis. Which, Harry appreciated that, but at the same time he felt like it was kind of hard because the thought of anyone hurting Louis made Harry upset.

 

Harry ran into Louis sometimes. Usually on Thursdays in the bakery, the same scene of his shaming. Louis would leave as quickly as possible the moment he realized Harry was there.

 

And what was that? Because every time Harry saw Louis,, his heart yearned to be near Louis. It physically hurt when Louis walked away, leaving him feeling like a kicked puppy. And if it hurt Harry to be away from him, it should hurt Louis too. And Louis never looked hurt, he looked annoyed or embarrassed or angry, but never hurt.

 

And that, well. That made Harry even more upset.

 

**< ><><><>**

 

“Zayn, you just wouldn’t understand.” Harry said with a huff and a cross of his arms. “You have a soulmate - a hot one - and all you do is lay around and pretend to be a hobo. Zayn, you aren’t even a real homeless person!” Harry exclaimed in frustration. “That’s why you don’t understand these issues I’m having with Louis.”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes and flopped back on the couch, cigarette between his lips. Liam would kill him if he knew Zayn was smoking inside, but it went with his homeless aesthetic. “I know I don’t understand.” He said, feigning annoyance. “I actually never said I understood, you said that.” He looked at Harry with expectant eyes. “Wait - you think Liam is hot?”

 

“Not the point!” Harry said with a sigh. “Louis won’t even look at me. He hates me, Zayn. More than anyone has ever hated me before, and I don’t get how that’s possible because he’s supposed to be the one who loves me more than anyone else.” If Zayn saw the tears in Harry’s eyes, he pretended not to notice.

 

“Harry..” Zayn said gently. “Have you two actually sat down and talked?” He said softly. “Because I think you might be talking to the wrong person. What if he’s just scared or some shit?” He asked. “That’s what I would do if it were Liam - I would talk to him.”

 

“That’s a fucking lie.” Harry deadpanned. “Because last time you and Liam fought, you went off and became ‘homeless’ for a week.”

 

Zayn gave him an annoyed look. “Fuck off.” Was all he said before hurrying to put out his cigarette when he heard Liam’s key turning in the door. “Shit. Harry, quick. Spray that bottle of Febreeze so Liam thinks I was just cleaning.”

 

Harry shook his head, but found the bottle and squirted it a few times. Liam came in, smiley and rosey cheeked as usual. “Hey love.” He said when he saw Zayn. “Harry?” he asked nervously, stopping and not coming in any further. “Oh, Zayn, you didn’t tell me Hazza was coming to visit today?” He gave Zayn a look.

 

Zayn tilted his head. “What? Sorry, I was too busy cleaning.” He said and shrugged. “Liam, why are you making that face like something really awkward is about to happen?”

 

Liam wanted to slap Zayn. “Nothing. Nothing at all, Z.” He said, shaking his head.

 

“What about something awkward happening?”

 

Harry looked up to see Louis coming in right behind Liam, carrying a bag of groceries.

 

“Oh, that awkward thing…” Zayn said, looking at Harry. “Sorry.”

 

Harry looked at Louis, and Louis looked at Harry. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Louis was speaking.

 

“Y’know, Liam. I know we decided that our salad would be okay without the olives that we forgot, but I think I’d rather it with olives, so i’ll just go run and pick some up. Okay? Bye.” he said and left in a hurry.

 

Harry was hurt, obviously. He looked between Zayn and Liam, and decided that he couldn’t handle the sympathetic looks on their face.

 

Zayn tried to lighten the situation. “If it makes you feel better, H, we actually had olives in the pantry.”

 

Liam looked at Zayn and shook his head. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?” He asked in disbelief.

 

Harry glared at Zayn. “Zayn was actually just smoking on the couch. That febreze? Just to cover the smoke.” He said with a shooting glare at Zayn.

 

Zayn tried to defend himself as Liam’s voice raised. He was saying something about how smoking inside is dumb, but Harry (and Zayn, for that matter) didn’t care to listen. Harry sighed and picked up his keys, deciding that it was a good time to leave.

 

<><><><>

 

Harry took the long way home.

 

Across Sansbury street, through the old park, down 11th, and back all the way to 26th street. He found himself wandering aimlessly, looking for something to distract him from the questions in his mind. Why did Louis hate him so much that he had to go find a can of olives? Was Harry really worth less than a salad topping that masked a quick escape? He figured so. It had been almost four months since the horrific vlog experience, and Harry hadn’t been as close to Louis as he was today since then. He almost forgot about the way Louis’ eyes left Harry breathless. The way his tan skin shined like the sun in the bleary streets of London.

 

If Louis’ laugh was a place, Harry would call it home.

 

I had to have done something wrong, he thought. I had to have done something, in some lifetime, that is worthy of this pain. Harry was a bit dizzy thinking of it all. Maybe I’ll get drunk. The last time I got drunk was- with Louis. Yeah. Maybe I’ll get drunk.

 

Before Harry knew it, he was at his flat and up the three staircases it took to get to the third floor. He dug around in his coat pocket for his keys, muttering a few curses for a moment when he thought he had left them at Liam’s, but he sighed in relief when he realized that he did in fact have them. He slid the key into the door, only to find it open already.

 

Of course, this is my fucking life. Now, I’m about to get murdered.

 

Harry pushed the door open anyways and hung his coat, figuring that maybe he left the door unlocked (even though he was sure he didn’t) or that Niall still had his spare key (even though he was sure he didn’t). He toed off his shoes and called out for Niall as he took his scarf off.

 

“Niall? Are you in here? Did you leave something-”

 

Blue eyes met him from their place on the couch, but not the blue eyes he had expected.

 

“Louis. What are you doing here?” He asked, brows furrowed. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Louis swallowed, looking up at Harry quietly. “I - well. I didn’t know where else to go. I was walking around and this was the only place that felt right.”

 

Harry tried not to feel enamored by that, because, “Oh. So this is the only place that feels right? What happened to you ignorning me for four months?” He asked, but didn’t let Louis cut in. “Louis, you just left me. And you didn’t tell me why. You dropped me on the fucking ground!” He said, surprised at how loud he was getting. “I - fuck it, I loved you, Louis. And I think I still might - love you.” He said quietly. “I can’t help it actually. I never chose to love you. Maybe I chose you as my best friend, or as my walk home from work. But I never chose falling in love with you. Because you are a difficult person, Louis! You’re stubborn, and you love to argue, and you love to be angry one minute and happy the next, and I have fallen irrevocably in love with you, and this fucking mark on my wrist only proves it to be true. I would never choose to love you, Louis. But i do.” He said, taking an exhale afterwards. “I choose you every day, even when I don’t want to choose you. I choose you because I’ve fallen helplessly in love with you, Louis, because you are my soulmate. And you don’t even care.”

 

Louis didn’t respond for a moment. He slowly stood up from where he was sitting, and reached for Harry. “Love..-” He said, but Harry didn’t let him finish.

 

Harry moved so Louis couldn’t get him. He had tears in his eyes. “D-do you even know who won Britain’s Greatest Baker?” He asked, trying to hold back his tears.

Louis nodded, looking away from Harry when he moved out of Louis’ reach. “Yeah, I do…” He said slowly. “Alex Greer, the one that you called from day one.” He said and looked at him. “I thought of you the whole time I was watching.. I wanted to be here, with you.” He explained slowly.

 

When Louis reached to take his hand this time, Harry didn’t stop him. “Louis..” He said slowly, before biting his lip. “What are you doing?”

 

Louis didn’t say a word. He looked at the mark on Harry’s wrist, almost examining it. He stayed quiet for a minute, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the small heart. Harry felt his heart beating in his chest. Louis ran his thumb over it and closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Harry… You deserve so much more than me. I’m not even a good friend, let alone a good soulmate.” He said softly.

 

Harry looked down at his wrist, he felt like there were a million butterflies on the spot where Louis kissed his skin. “What do you mean? You’re a great friend…” He said slowly.

 

Louis laughed a bit bitterly, and now it was his turn to tear up. “I am not. I come over unannounced, I always let you buy the tea, I skipped out on Britain’s Greatest Baker nights… Fuck, I’m an awful friend…” He shook his head. “And a soulmate? Jesus. I’ve ignored you for months on end…” He said and shook his head. “I am so sorry.” he said, and before Harry could blink, he was being pulled in for a hug. “So, so sorry.”

 

Hugging Louis, now that they were bonded, was… Unexplainable. It was as if all his problems were gone, even though the only problem he had was right in his arms. He hugged Louis like he hadn’t hugged someone before. He leaned his head on Louis’ shoulder, and let the tears start to fall. “L-lou… it’s okay…” He said, trying to console Louis, even though he wasn’t yet crying.

 

“It’s not okay, because I already have a soulmate.” Louis said, before letting his tears finally fall. “I already have a soulmate, I should have just left you alone, I’m so sorry.” He said, leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder, sobbing.

 

Harry gasped a bit, because.. This was the first time since he actually saw the little, pink heart on Louis’ wrist that he was thinking of it. “Oh my god.” He said and shook his head. “So… you’re fucking telling me, that this is one sided? That you have my heart and I don’t have yours?” Harry went to pull away, but Louis didn’t let him.

 

“H, hush, love..” He sniffled, looking up at him. “That’s not how it works..” He explained. He sighed and pulled his hand off Harry’s shoulder, moving to show him it. “Okay.. You’re the first person to see this… I’ve been kind of hiding it?” He admitted, before pulling up his shirt sleeve for Harry to see, turning his wrist.

 

On inspection, Harry couldn’t help but cover his mouth in shock. Louis’ entire wrist was red and blotchy, looking like an awful burn had occurred or something. But that wasn’t even what had Harry’s attention. It was the small heart in the middle of the mess. Not only was it a broken heart, but both the halves were different colors. One was the light pink that Harry remembered from before, and the other was… The same red as Harry’s heart was.

 

“What is this?” He asked hesitantly, being very careful not to touch the skin too hard, as to not hurt Louis, but he winced a bit anyways.

 

“I had to go to a lot of doctors to figure that out, actually..” Louis said, slowly. “I- This is a long story…”

 

Harry sighed, pulling him to sit down on the couch. “Well? I’ve waited four months to hear it…”

 

Minutes later, both had a steaming cuppa in their hands and were looking at each other from opposite ends of the sofa. “Okay, go ahed.” Harry said softly.

 

Louis nodded, taking a breath. “Okay. Well… I have a soulmate already.” He said, shaking his head. “Her name is Hannah.. And we matched when we were just 15 and 16. And I loved her with every part of me, Harry. I’d known her since I was a boy, and I knew the whole time that she was the one.” He said, sounding not even an ounce unsure. “It was easy with Hannah, just like it’s easy with you. She knew me inside and out - and i, her.” He explained. “I was so in love with her that I didn’t know what to do with myself, H. And I still am…” He said, taking a moment and rubbing his face.

 

Harry was trying not to get angry at this, but it really wasn’t what he was expecting. Because… He was expecting a grand apology and maybe even make-up sex. But never this. Never Louis’ love story with another person, especially since that person was a girl. But, he let Louis continue.

 

“Hannah died a year and a half ago.” He said abruptly, as if it hurt for him to tell Harry this. But Harry remembered, because Louis had told him this a few months ago. “She had cancer.. Mets in her lungs, the doctors said. And she wasn’t in pain long.. It took over so fast. And when she died… I was just left here.” He said simply. “I thought I was destined for a life of loneliness. Until I met you.” He said in the softest voice possible. “The first time I met you, I knew that if I’d never met Hannah, it’d of been you that I bonded with. Because you are… Everything I could’ve dreamed of. Soft and quiet, but lovely and loud sometimes. And you love to argue, but you’re nurtuing and sweet. And you… Love me.” He said slowly. “And I tried to stay away to save you.. Because I don’t know if we can be together.” He admitted. “Because half the time, when I see you, I see Hannah.” He tried to explain. “And everything hurts. My whole body aches. And my heart burns.” He sighed. “And when we bonded… I didn’t know what to do! I never wanted to bond with you - well, I wanted to, but i knew I couldn’t - because I can’t be around you sometimes. Because all I feel is upset, and I want you to be her sometimes. Because i’m… Bonded to both of you..”

 

“I don’t understand..” Harry choked out, tears spilling out that he didn’t know he was holding. “What?”

 

“Broken Heart Syndrome, they call it.” He sniffled. “The Gods, or whoever… They gave me another chance at love.. But pain is the price…” He sighed.

 

Harry swallowed a bit, unsure what to say. “Louis..” He said, unsure when his voice got so tight. “I-”

 

For the first time in awhile, Harry was honestly speechless. He was used to going onto his vlog and being able to speak his heart out, tell everyone exactly what he thought. And he had come out of his shell a little bit also. He started making new friends (none too close, though, obviously) and now.. This changed everything. This made everything, every fiber of Harry’s being change.

 

“So…” he started slowly. “You love me?” He asked anxiously.

 

Louis nodded, tear-soaked blue eyes meeting Harry’s green eyes.

 

“And… You want to be with me?” Harry asked, seeing Louis’ nod. He asked one last question. “But… I hurt you?” He asked, voice sounding wounded even though he didn’t mean for it to.

 

“Yes..” Louis said softly. “It’s not your fault though… It’s all mine. Always my fault.” He said slowly.

 

“I-I can’t hurt you like that, Louis. I can’t be the thing that makes your skin burn and that makes you cry…” Harry sniffled, not letting Louis stop him. “I’m supposed to love you, and make you smile. And maybe even wake you up with a blowjob… I’m not supposed to hurt you, ever. Not even an ounce. And there’s nothing I can do now…” He said, shaking his head.

 

Louis looked at him. “Harry, please..”

 

“No, Louis!-” Harry exclaimed.

 

But Louis wouldn’t hear it. He grasped Harry by the shoulders, pulled him in, and kissed him. The moment that Harry had been waiting for for so long… Was finally here. Louis’ lips were chapped, but mostly soft. Thin and skilled, he kissed Harry with passion and desire, and so many things that Harry had never been kissed with. It took his breath away and Harry kissed back, trying to keep up.

 

If home was a moment, this would be his.

 

“Harry, I promise you.. We will figure this out. I can’t walk on this earth alone knowing you’re still here.”

 

**< ><><><>**

 

“Hello, everyone. My name’s Harry, and this is Louis. And this is my 30th vlog, but our first together as a couple.” Harry grinned, looking over at the beautiful boy beside him and linking their fingers.

 

“There’s nowhere else I’d ever be, my flower.” Louis said, and kissed his cheek loudly. “And, as my love forgot to say, we’ll be discussing the book Hunger Games today, as chosen by yours truly.” He beamed. “To start the discussion, I don’t get why the main person.. What’s his name? Carter? Why is he so cocky?”

 

Harry laughed a bit. “Boo, did you even read the book? The main character is a girl.. And her name is Katniss.”

 

Louis threw his head back, eyes crinkling as he laughed.

  
And Harry decided that this moment was his home, now and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for bearing through this whole series with me! much love to everyone who has bookmarked, commented, kudo'd, and even just read. I appreciate you!
> 
> if you are interested in one shots in this 'verse, and/or have any ideas for those one shots, drop a comment! I will only be doing them if I see people want them :) also, head on over to my other current story, DEUX! I would really appreciate it! Deux will be updated this weekend.
> 
> i love you all, thank you for coming on this journey with me!
> 
> -m ♥ ♥ ♥

**Author's Note:**

> i would love your feedback! kudos and comments are appreciated, or come say hello on my tumblr:
> 
> warmcuppateafiction.tumblr.com 
> 
> xxx


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